Friday, July 20, 2007

RIP 2007. It's Like I Hardly Knew Ya.

After a double dose of disheartening news this morning, it appears that the wheels are not only falling off in St. Louis, but careening wildly into the crowd and disfiguring small children in their paths. I haven't been this depressed since they shot Bambi's mom. Holy hell, it sucks to be a Cardinals fan right now.

First and most horrifying is the news regarding Chris Carpenter's status. Despite reports that he was making strides in his recovery and would be returning to the rotation over the next couple of weeks, it's been announced that stiffness and soreness has returned in his elbow. He is now scheduled to undergo Tommy John surgery, which effectively ends his very short season (his only start was the season opener we lost against the Mets) and creates a big question mark as to when he'll be able to return next season. Honestly, I feel gutted. I'd painted this majestic picture in my head of how he'd come back and the team would rally around his inspiring return. We'd take over the division, the league and finally THE WORLD by winning the rest of our regular season games, somehow un-losing a few of those really embarrassing early season debacles and automatically earning two wins for every time we were forced to show up at the same ballpark as the Cubs. It was even in watercolor. Siiiiiiigh.

Next, we got our hides handed to us last night by the Braves. And by "we", I mean starting pitcher Mike Maroth, who gave up 10 runs over five innings, 5 of those coming in the fourth inning alone. Wow! This has turned out to be an exceptionally effective trade for us. Really, he's just what the doctor ordered as this is damn near the scariest starting rotation I've ever seen. I haven't encountered such an intimidating arsenal since Mr. Rogers, the Easter Bunny and a couple Teletubbies played together back in 1997. These guys are positively FEROCIOUS!!

Unless I win the lottery or Carlos Zambrano gets eaten by a tiger, my day is officially ruined. Bring on the martini sandwiches!

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